Tonight I've finally found my words and they are simple. I'm blessed.
In the eyes of the world I shouldn't be feeling this way. I should be panicked and worried about how we are going to survive. The job we depended on to support our family is not what our Heavenly Father wanted us to be doing and so we turned life over to him and are waiting for prayers to be answered.
Three weeks have passed by and the miracle job I've been praying for has not appeared, the bank account is only getting smaller, and a whole new months worth of bills are going to start arriving but I am so blessed. Chris is sitting next to me as I write and while my heart and mind are devastated for so many fire fighting families.
Today an entire hotshot crew was killed in Arizona when weather caused a fire to move unpredictably. My worst nightmare that I refused to even acknowledge for the past three years is actually happening and people are living. I'm not one of those people. I'm not even one of those wives sitting home alone thankful it wasn't their husband but knowing that any day it could easily be there turn.
Instead I'm sitting here with my husband overwhelmed with sadness for those families but feeling the exact same amount of gratitude that it's not my trial to bear. I'm blessed to have my very own trials and to thankfully have Chris right by my side in them.
My prayers are going out to the families who lost their loved ones today. They are also going to my Heavenly Father and thanking him for how blessed I am.
http://m.ksl.com/index/story/sid/25820090
1 comment:
You were the first person I thought of when I saw that headline. Im so glad that Chris is at home and safe with you. It will work out. Obviously you are right and that was not where the Lord wanted Chris right now. How tragic and hard for those who lost loved ones but how lucky and blessed you and your family are to be able to go to bed without that fear.
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